Are you Really Happy or Just Really Comfortable?

That seems to be the question that has haunted me lately. The honest answer, I really don't know.
There are days when things are going well.. life has its usual ups and downs and throws you a curve ball every now and then but, for the most part, things are chugging along. Then something happens, comes out of nowhere, and you start to think... "is THIS really IT for me?" Is THIS the life I had planned for myself?

Obviously, my plan was never to have had three children by the age of 26. Don't get me wrong,  I don't regret any of it, on the contrary, having my kids so young has allowed me to think the way I have been. I see my friends now still struggling with finding babysitters, exhausted, and I remember that feeling,.. I would go back to that in a second if I had the chance, btw...and I love that I am free to do so much now, and I'm still young enough to enjoy it. Having my kids so young is what has led me here.. to where I am today.

For the past twenty years, my days were filled with ball games, practices, school functions, and shuttling them around. For the most part, all of that is over for me, and my kids now drive themselves... so I now have all of this extra time.. Time to think, time to contemplate, time to wonder.. so now I ask myself.. "am I really happy or am I really comfortable"?
Do I even know the difference anymore?

Healing

I have never been a religious person.. I always thought of myself as more of a spiritual person. But these days, I feel, I KNOW, that I am missing something. Things just don't ever feel quite right.

Yesterday I had to have a biopsy for a lesion they found in my breast. Of course, everything that could possibly go wrong during the procedure, went wrong. These are the times when my faith is tested.

Regardless, today I pray..

Faith

Wine Weekend

Going on a much needed get away with my crazy high school friends this weekend. I never thought I would be as excited about this as I am but excited doesn't even seem like an appropriate word.. ECSTATIC, maybe.

42 and only my mommy will do.

I'm sick. Hate to admit it, but i am.  And even though my kids are trying to help, nothing makes you feel better than having your mommy here. 

Just a few months ago I didn't know how long I'd have her or if I would be the one taking care of her. But in moms typically amazing fashion, she beat the odds and came through it like a champ. 

#cancersucks

Soooo sick!

Just when I finally get the urge to get moving, I get sick! And not just a little sick... But "I might die" sick! 

When Did Running Start to Burn?

So I went and "ran" (ok, more like walked... but quickly) a mile yesterday and it burned? My entire body burned? Then itched.. uh, why? Am I THAT outta shape or was it the cold? Whatever it was, it sucked!

How much longer before this gets better?